Looking back, I am certain that it’s not my fully booked schedules, brand visibility, or spotless house that I will regret missing out on. It will be the impatient dinners… the rushed bedtimes… the ‘not right now’ dismissals… Yes, I catch myself very often prioritizing the urgent over precious priorities, the fleeting over forever moments.
There were this particular season when our two kids were both below five, that I spent so many early dawns and late dusks chasing ‘my dreams’. I had presumed it would buy me time later to spend with them – only to realize it stole from me precious moments I would never get back. Adding salt to the injury, when that season was over, I had nothing to show for it, besides the Solomon effect – vanity of vanities…
In the current season of my life, I am becoming more aware whenever I look at my kids, that their childhood moments are fleeting rapidly. Those tiny hands and feet are growing faster than I would like to admit… Can’t believe Crystal is already my height at just eleven! Where did time go?
This year, I am working towards slowing down – spend less time on social media, put down my phone a bit more, and truly see and enjoy family. Because in the end, it’s not just about our milestones, but also the day to day precious moments we are living out, that will determine our connection when they grow up and leave our home.
Here are 10 things I am currently prioritizing a bit more…
Priority #1 Nurturing a Secure Attachment:
I have been striving to create a consistent, loving, and safe environment where my kids feel unconditionally loved, supported and accepted. This will keep building a stronger sense of self, more solid trust, emotional resilience, and healthier connections with us, and other people throughout their life.
Priority #2 Prioritizing Quality Time:
I have also been dedicating more focused, undistracted time to connect with them over the past few years. This means being fully present, attentive and engaged with them, even if it is for short periods of times in between work. We have strengthen our connections, dreamt about our futures and created many memorable moments I will forever cherish.
Priority #3 Teaching Emotional Intelligence:
I am helping them identify, understand, express and manage their emotions in healthy and acceptable ways. Also intentionally equip them with skills and wisdom for navigating relationships, managing stress, and building more self-awareness.
Priority #4 Nurturing Independence and Resilience:
As they grow older, I have also been empowering them to make age-appropriate choices & decisions, solve problems, prioritize tasks and experience consequences of their mistakes. Hopefully, it will prepare them to better handle challenges in life, be more confident, and more self reliant, as well as learn to bounce back from adversities of life.
Priority #5 Modeling Healthy Relationships:
I am also becoming more conscious on how I demonstrate empathy, respectful communication, and healthy boundaries in my own relationships. I catch them watching me, and to be honest, there are times I have not been on my best… I am aware that my actions and inactions continue to shape their understanding of healthy connections. Sometimes I share with them my lessons and experiences whenever a familiar person or situation is involved.
Priority #7 Encouraging Open Communication:
I have been intentionally creating a safe space for them to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Many times I allow them to vent and call me out when they feel I am out of order. This has enhanced their trust, strengthened our bond, and allows us to address low key discontentment as well as catch wrong attitudes or perspectives in good time.
Priority #8 Celebrating Individuality:
All our kids live worlds apart where their interests, talents and personalities are concerned. I try as much as possible to have one on one conversations with each one of them to know where they are, as well as recognize, admire and appreciate their personal uniqueness. My desire is to raise kids with healthy self esteem as they continue to thrive in their individuality.
Priority #9 Practicing Consistent and Loving Discipline:
We believe in the rod of discipline as a family, but also try to ensure there are clear boundaries, instructions and known consequences. Over time, we have learnt to use discipline as a teaching tool, rather than harsh punishment or means of lashing out our frustrations to the kids. My hope is to eventually build secure boundaries, teach responsibility, and promote self-regulation.
Priority #10 Prioritizing Self-Care:
Taking care of specifically my mental and emotional well-being has deeply enriched my motherhood journey. I have religious self care routines and schedule regular me-times to do fun things by myself, with my sisters or friends. I also travel alone for solitude retreats and leisure every now and then to reset. Whenever I recharge, I have found myself mothering more joyfully and effectively. My desire is teach and modeling healthy self care habits for my kids to adopt when they’ll become be parents in future.
There you go! Those are my top ten priorities this year. What are yours? What else would you suggest I add to my list?